They Shall Be Put to Death

I promise the next five posts will be about something more cheerful than the election backlash. But not this one. It’s not that I expected world peace and unity overnight or ever, believe me, but I hoped the stunning poetic symbolism of black and white, Muslim and Christian, Kenyan and American would mean something to everyone.

I forgot that all the sick bigots and racists and uncivilized creeps would come out of their caves waving their stockpiled ammunition.

Now that I’ve read “Americans for Truth” and their terror of human rights’ “extremist homosexual agenda” – you know, how since queers don’t breed, they have to infiltrate and program new minions of baby gays- I’ve read enough.

It’s a trifle disheartening to hear “Christian” bloggers write stuff like, er, why Obama’s face is really brown…and stuff like “string that platelip n*****’ and “if Obama forces Christians to hire homos, we will simply have to stand for God and kill them ourselves.”

All this because Obama blasphemously took it upon himself to say you can’t refuse to hire someone because they’re gay.

A former Republic and former fundamentalist, pointed out that since more than half of conservative right wing fundies  are divorced and remarried, they are also living a blasphemous lifestyle according to their own Scriptures, and while they’re stoking up the furnace for all the nasty fruits and flies like me, they’d better make room for the entire Republican nation.

I chuckled at the irony- never did get why these people single out one

Sorry, Jesus- the Old Testament stands.

‘abomination’ over all others- but yep, remarrieds should be stoned to death. But we missed a few:

For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death. Exodus 35:2

Good Lord Almighty! But the Best Western maid was so NICE!! And dude who fires up my fried chicken…and dang it, I pick up my lawn watering accessories at Wal Mart on my way home from church- and this week I’ll BURN IT TO THE GROUND to be rid of those heathens! Sure hope their low-wage hard working lifestyle’s not CONTAGIOUS!

but he seemed like a really nice man....

If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother, who does not heed them when they discipline him, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the gate of that place. They shall say to the elders of his town, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death. So you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel will hear, and be afraid. Deut 21:18-21

You know, my toddler defied me just this morning when he wined that his grits were cold…start stockpiling rocks.

Anyone who blasphemes the name of the Lord must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether a foreigner or native born, the blasphemer must be stoned.
Leviticus 24-16

See, we KNEW we had a reason to lynch every immigrant who has never heard of our religion!

Numbers 31- Moses commands the Israelites to go into the Midianites and plunder every herd. So they take also all the Midianite women and children, and rape them accordingly. But then God says to kill the women who have slept with them!

Yee-haw! Now I git to kill the slave girls I’ve defiled!

Deuteronomy 3:6-10 If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;
Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;
Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:
But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.
And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die.

So here we are- proof perfection that when we’re pushing our religion on a Hindu man in his own country of India, and he shares his own cultural faith with us, we are COMMANDED to kill him!

Numbers 22:13-21

If you were not a virgin when you married, ladies, I’m so very sorry, but like those abominable homomen, you must be put to death.

Numbers 22:23
Hopefully if you are raped, it is in the country, and not in town- in town, both you and the rapist must be put to death because you didn’t scream hard enough. But, if it happens to you in the country, you get to live and the man dies. Rapists to be put to death.

Then again, if the girl is not engaged to anyone, neither will die. The rapist will simply have to pay her father and she is forced to marry him. So it’s high time you open those prison doors, find all those traumatized victims, and start ringing wedding bells!

Esther 1-2
Queen Vashti decides she doesn’t feel like getting naked in to entertain the king and his guests so she is banished forever  because people might gossip that his command was not firm enough. To find a new queen, the king defiles a virgin every night for three years.

Umm, that’s a whole lot of women who would have to be stoned to death just because Vashti had a headache one night….

Well, as Locust of the Family headship James Dobson told Obama, we can’t just open the Bible and READ IT now! Because that’s a ‘fruitcake interpretation’ of the constitution!

Well, let them eat cake!

The Pope Hates Babies

orange, beige, and green countries abortion is illegal except for health or rape. slate blue is either by demand, or demanded by government, like it or not.

Unlike Sinead O’Connor, I’ve always kept my mouth shut on pope stuff because I don’t think I can change a tradition of centuries and because all humans, including the upper crust of church elite, are fallible and unable to carry out the truth of Christ, anymore than I am able to.

But now I’m going to come right out and say it- can the Pope please shut up? SHUT UP!

Honestly, you can stop yapping about the tragedy of abortion until you start handing out contraception the world over, and absolve your followers of this ‘crime.’ The real crime, the real murder here, is forcing impoverished women, now and through history, to dozens of children that suffered and starved. You punished women who were too sick or frail or exhausted or poor to have another child to death with more pregnancy, leaving orphans all over the papist world and further afar. At least the Protestants, who broke away from the ridiculous notion of your infallibility, are responsible enough to advocate contraception. And how many bastard children has your lineage fathered? Want me to start counting? Just how is that infallible?

I’ll continue, “deigning to remain neutral” on the abortion question because it’s an explosive, tragic, emotional thing for everyone, best avoided. However, it may be a necessary evil, the least suffering and the least death, especially in the third world. That said, there would be less need if you would okay contraception. I don’t think the sick, hungry, homeless women are thrilled about the next bundle of joy when they’re late for their period again. Stop the suffering and get them some contraception!

This whole brouhaha with the Pope and the Right and the babykiller Prez is a farce. Do you know much about the so-called babykilling law Obama changed? Thought so. Headlines like ‘Okays babykilling worldwide’ with sad photos have great emotional impact, but how about using your head along with your heart, and thinking about what is going on here.

Ok, you’ve already got abortion in the States, so there’ s NO CHANGE THERE. That’s not Obama’s law. It’s been in effect for 36 years. So what’s this new thing then?

Obama CANNOT change abortion laws in other countries. So he has not magically made
babykilling possible all over the world. Just who do you guys think he is- the devil, just because he’s black? Thought so.

If you look at a map of abortion policies around the world, you’ll see that few hand out the service freely. Most provide abortion if the mother’s life is in danger. Poor mothers die all the time during childbirth, and millions more are injured and sick and unable to mother her other children. Then, some of those children are sold as sex slaves, or labour slaves. I’m not kidding. Do some research. So which evil is greater? Death, orphaning, prostitution and starvation? Or saving the mom’s life and hence her other children’s? Now here we’re only talking about sick or poor women whose life is at risk. Remember, most countries don’t give out abortion just because Mom really tied one on and got jiggy with some rock star on tour through desert Africa.

Because family planning clinics in the third world SOMETIMES counsel or provide abortion IN THE KINDS OF SITUATIONS YOU MIGHT FIND ABOVE, the United States has during Bush and Reagan REFUSED to donate CONTRACEPTION cash to these clinics. So the ACTUAL issue Obama is changing is ACCESS TO BIRTH CONTROL.

So do the math. EVEN IF YOU HATE ABORTION, there will be less abortion and less death by providing the birth control that we have been withholding. So no matter where one stands on the ‘life versus choice’ spectrum, all parties are best served, including babies and children, by providing contraception services to women who desperately need it. At least the right-wingers believe in contraception, and they rightly don’t want abortion used as birth control. So let the people USE BIRTH CONTROL. That’s what this issue is all about, actually.

In extreme cases of poverty, mothers have no choice but to sell off a girl child into prostitution or child slavery in order to feed the others. THIS IS NOT RARE. In others, desperate parents throw their children away, hoping someone else will find him or her and care, or that her death will be quick and less suffering than a life of poverty. In other cases, whole populations of sick children are called ‘untouchables’ or something equivalent, and roam around like stray dog packs, starving, and no one can help them. These cases of suffering are best prevented with contraception. There is no mother who is ‘evil’ and wants this! This is the horrible result of not having access to birth control.

Just look at the world map. Don’t take mine or wikipedia’s word for this map, either; you can do your own research to verify. Generally speaking, this map looks to be more or less accurate. There are some large patches of land covered in blue- abortion on demand. The States, Canada, places in Europe like France and Germany which are unlikely going to need Obama’s foreign AID for contraceptive outreach, Russia, Eastern Europe (yet there are still millions of war-rape ethnic infiltration babies in orphanages, starving, emotionally starving, waiting for you to stop bitching and start adopting), China, Cambodia, Korea.

The latter few are deceiving. It’s not in the woman’s court here, either, despite how it appears. There are various laws enforcing women to abortion at the government’s whim.

In India and a few parts of the southern African content, abortion is available only for rape, mother’s health, poverty, and fetal defects or health. Another handful of countries shows up dark brown, the same as above but not for poverty- so mother’s health, rape, and fetal health.

You’ll notice that MOST OF SOUTH AMERICA AND AFRICA, the two continents likely to receive the most of Obama’s aid, show abortion to be ILLEGAL except in cases of maternal or fetal health, and a few expand this to include rape. Keep in mind that the definition of rape in tribal or Muslim Africa is not going to be something like “drunk at sorority party, too many root beer kahlua shooters, don’t know what happened.”

So clearly, the majority of Obama’s ‘babykilling’ dollars will go to get contraception to those who need it desperately, despite what the pope says. When you remove your emotional upset, and of course it is upsetting to think your tax dollars are going out into the world to murder children, but now that you think about it, you see that the real sin was withholding birth control from impoverished nations and mothers who desperately don’t want to get pregnant again because they are sick or poor or have hungry children already. Contraception will save countless lives from death and also from suffering. In most cases, there will be no abortion unless maternal or fetal health are at risk.

Just for the record, I do believe abortion is a necessary evil, and not something to be taken lightly. I do not support ‘partial birth abortions.’ Clearly, if the child is capable of living without its mother, it becomes a separate issue. The issue as a whole would be best avoided altogether, and THAT IS WHY THE POPE HAD BETTER START ADVOCATING BIRTH CONTROL ALL OVER THE WORLD. How dare he perpetuate the notion that birth control is a sin? This is direct abuse and battery of mother and resulting children. In many cases, it is murder, once a life comes into being. Intentional motherhood would be a much happier kind for women who currently have no options but a constant cycle of birthing, watching their children die, being sick and pregnant, death.

Do you think I’m exaggerating? Do you have any idea what kind of hell people have to live and die through out in the world? Think about it. Research it. Imagine how thrilled you would be to find out you are pregnant again in Malawi, where almost everybody has AIDS. Or in refugee lines in Darfur. “Oh, honey, I have some great news to tell you…just after the three day wait for a porridge dinner!” Or your entire village and farms have been destroyed by a tsunami and your husband, the breadwinner, lost his arms and legs in the storm. “Darling, we’ll soon have a new addition to our family!”

Or is it just that you don’t care about Latin or African children, like so many of your blogs say…after all, it’s their own damn fault they’re so poor, right?

The question I pose to the ignorant who ban contraception is this: who is personally responsible for the pain, suffering, sickness, poverty, joylessness, hunger, hopelessness, and possibly the orphaning, – possibly the long life in hell if these heathens don’t convert to your religion- of each and every child whose suffering existence could have been prevented by contraception, along with that child’s mother and siblings and husband or partner and all of their pain and suffering caused by having a child they couldn’t afford, want, or were too sick to really have?

Easy. You are.

Philippine children begging.

jesus was a leftie

Two years ago, James Dobson told Obama he couldn’t use the Old Testament, when Obama asked an intelligent question: “Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?… Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?”

I’ve learned a lot about the ‘followers of Christ’ in the week since President Obama was inaugurated. That none of them have read the Bible is clear, and they definitely went out of their way to skip the passages in red. Though Obama wasn’t allowed to “reference ancient dietary laws”  Old Testament war doctrine is in full swing among the Christian Right. Hence, those that think  of the common good are dismiss-able lefties.

It’s been depressing out there in information land, as every bigot and their venom surfaces. Out there in the information battlefield, the ‘god hates fags’ faction is really heating up, and I’ve never heard the n-word so frequently in my life. The good president is all things to all people- he’s a n*, Jew, Islamic terrorist, he’s not a ‘real’ Christian, he’s a babykiller, a fag, and Lucifer himself.

Apparently, it’s a guerrilla socialist tactic for me to question whether prolife should end at birth, or whether George Bush could be pro life when he was deathmongering his enemies and not loving them. But only fundies in the Christian Army can quote Jesus, because I have a distorted, perverted understanding of his words.

But then I found these delightful bumper stickers and they cheered me up.  Made me wish I had a car!

http://www.cafepress.com/turn_left

Obamarama- Sexiest President Ever!

A quick chat with my girlfriends and a surf around the net confirmed I’m not alone in thinking President Obama is among the sexiest men alive. The prez has more important things than his fainting, spellbound groupies on his mind- things like saving the world, for example. But a few daydreams can sure make the day a little brighter, and that Obama as Superman stuff just feeds into classic lady rescue fantasies.

No need to list all the ways in which Obama is smoking hot. That would take way too long, so I’ll just list the top few that come to mind. OK, well, I have a thing for sunglasses, for starters. Two, that shirtless in Hawaii shot may be the first ever presidential pinup. Three, there’s something decidedly genuine and warm underlying his confidence. Four, a president you can befriend on Facebook is truly a man in contact with the people. Five, he cherishes her, he treats his wife with the reverence and respect any woman wishes from her man. Take notes, here, boys- if you treat your first lady like Barack treats Michelle, you’ll notice that your Michelle treats you like God.

And then there’s those eyes, those lips, that face…

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway, much is being made about whether it’s appropriate or not a man in office to be hotter than Hollywood. What’s a babe supposed to do- get plastic surgery to look ugly, and eat Cheetos until his six pack disappears? I mean, really, how can you hide the fact that you really, truly are God’s gift to women, in every possible way? Even if Barack wore a paper bag over his head, there’s just no hiding that charisma, that intelligence, that stunning timbre of voice. I’m sorry, but no matter how Obama’s physical features turned out, there’s something hot as hell about a president who plays Scrabble with his wife and takes his jacket off in the White House. He’s the smartest, sexiest ‘everyman’ we’ve ever seen.

Yes, unofficially, Obama wins out over People’s Sexiest Man Alive, Hugh Jackman, who’s pretty easy on the eyes himself. Also unofficially, Obama was the presidential candidate women most desired to see naked. Now, that’s not a really fair competition- come on, even McCain supporters couldn’t vote for him in that regard!

I decided to do a little unofficial research. See if there were any other sexier than sin presidents. I couldn’t say off the top of my head, as a Canadian, I’m not that well versed in presidential hotness.

I admit I had found Bill a little bit hot. A man who smokes grass and plays the saxophone is hot, plain and simple. But not that hot. Just pretty hot for a politician hot. And then my ardor quickly cooled. Nothing against the Mona Lewinska- long live the chubby mistress! But if I were to get caught with my pants down in the white house, it had better be with Marilyn Monroe.

So- yes, JFK. Something of a legendary sex symbol. I’m a bit too young to recall JFK mania. But looking at the photos, I can be 100 per cent sure that Obama wins again.

No other names leap up into the running. But I consider it a possibility that my emotional connection with Obama’s vision is what makes him a vision to me. So I wonder if I’m blinded by the light, and if it’s just a personal prejudice against war criminals that makes me think George W. Bush looks like a demonic lizard.

I type into Google, Does Anyone Thing George Bush is Sexy?

To be fair, I find one or two who concede that “he’s attractive for his age.” But I also find a few who say, “I’m going to throw up.”

I’m pretty sure that President William Howard Taft is not in the running. If anyone disagrees, do tell.

And former President James Buchanan has gone down in history with another unanimous vote altogether- the distinction of being the worst president in America’s history. In office from 1821-1823, he was the only bachelor of the lot. Ladies, what do you think of this eligible prey?

Well, if you voted this heartbreaker as sexiest president ever, better get your ballot back. He did indeed break his fiancee’s heart- she broke up with him and died- probably by suicide -a week later. Buchanan may have been one of the few gay pressies- he lived with longtime companion William King and complained about his difficulty in wooing the boys.

At least one skanky schoolmarm voted for dear old Millard Fillmore. His teacher married him, fulfilling every school boy’s fantasy.

Now I doubt dear old Abe would win any beauty contests- but more than a few academics are certain Buchanan wasn’t the only boytoy in the presidency.

But Martin Van Buren is kind of cute, non?

No one in my casual net surf had even considered Grover Cleveland in the running. Is that why he was so nice to blind people?

Now Ready Teddy was loved by many- but did he make the ladies swoon?

If I missed any heartthrobs, y’all enlighten me, now! But I’m guessing we unanimously have a winner, one who looks good in a leather jacket.

Then again, with this babe, no jacket required.

National Anti-Abortion Day

Tomorrow is National Sanctity of Life Day- Bush (good riddance) chose the date to mourn the Roe versus Wade decision, legalizing abortion, 36 years ago. It’s been obvious, of course, since the beginning that sanctity of life is top priority on Bush’s agenda, and perhaps while he was murdering thousands of innocents, he made sure no one was preggers before he pulled the trigger.

You might conclude that I am pro abortion. But I doubt there are more than a small handful of people who are ‘pro abortion.’ It’s a very private tragedy that everyone hopes to avoid.

I’m going to remain neutral on the heated issue, because my own feelings are conflicting. I do believe all life is sacred, but I believe it’s most sacred to be loved or cared for. Regardless of my conflicted emotions, there are a million things you can do instead of hunting down frightened or desperate women at clinics, or holding up macabre placards. The woman you are terrorizing may be the girl next door, or your daughter, or your mother- for you don’t know, do you, what killers walk among you?

If you really believe in the miracle of life, here are wonderful ways you can celebrate National Sanctity of Life Day.

1. You can raise awareness about child sex trafficking. There are 200 children’s brothels in Angeles City in the Phillipines, for example. Many Indians are so poor they sell one child in order to feed the others. In an unfortunate side effect of Bush’s supreme respect for life, his war in Iraq, is the 50 000 Iraqi refugee women working as prostitutes in Syria. Syria is now booming with sex tourism. Saudi men pay extra for virgins. Perhaps you could picket for laws that call for life long captivity for the ‘sex tourists’ who walk among you. There’re some in your office or church right now, trust me. That would help cut down on pregnancies, too. It’s a win-win situation.

2. Fifteen million children worldwide die of hunger every year. You don’t need to argue over whether the fetus is a real person from conception or halfway through term- everyone can be certain these children are real people. Well, maybe- many of them aren’t white. Do they still count? Maybe you can give up one of your cars and buy goats and chickens or small farming plots for these hungry kids? With so many mouths to feed, some families are forced to send their children to work. Why not help out and get these kiddie slaves a paper route?

3. As the waste of nearly seven billion people fills the earth- most of it our crap, by the way- you might consider the sanctity of life in Vietnam and China, where the poor build toxic huts out of our computer waste. The chemicals seep into their water and soil, and cancer is rampant. Why not head over there and help child slaves sort through our ‘recycling.’ While you’re there, you can spearhead a few water cleaning initiatives.

4. A mom dies giving birth every half hour in Pakistan. Instead of focusing your hatred on women who can’t be or don’t want to be a parent, why not dedicate your goodwill, time, and money to these women who would love to stay alive? Babies need their mothers!

5. In 2007, nearly 20 thousand Americans were murdered. Why not get involved in projects that help mourning families put their lives back together? Volunteer at an emergency shelter for domestic violence victims, lobby for tighter gun controls, or hold up banners with depictions of splattered brains and bodies that say “Twenty thousand annual murders.”

6. Consider working with the organization of your choice to help refugees in Darfur. You can feed the hungry, bandage wounds, hold the hands of the dying, pray with lost children, and educate others on the political strife in Sudan.

7. Risk your life, the way women risk theirs to have babies, by working to free prisoners of conscience. Head to www.amnestyusa.org for biographies of wrongfully imprisoned humans around the world. For example, Mpagi Edward Edmary of Uganda was jailed for 18 years for killing another man. The victim was later found to be alive, and Mpagi’s insistence of innocence was clearly true. Chinese journalist Shi Tao used his Yahoo account to summarize a government order. He was charged with illegally providing state secrets to foreign entities and sentenced to ten years in prison. In Myanmar, military rule is the rule, and there are thousands in prison for their dissenting viewpoints, views you may express here at home every day. Ma Khin Khin Leh is a mother and school teacher serving a life sentence for organizing a peaceful demonstration for freedom. She had arthritis and lung problems, and would like to be reunited with her three-year old daughter. Your efforts for the sanctity of life would sure be appreciated by these people who risked their lives for what we take for granted each day.

8. There are so many children in orphanages without parents. The crisis is particularly monumental in AIDS-riddled Africa. Since every child is a wonderful miracle, how about helping these children get medicine, and find them adoptive parents? Imagine what could be achieved if all the time you all spend picketing the clinics could be spent INSIDE clinics in Africa, caring for dying, orphaned children? Miracles would indeed happen! If you still aren’t quite certain that little black children are quite as miraculous and sacred as white ones, there are plenty of unwanted children in Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia, and Hungary, white as snow! These little

child with downs syndrome tied to a crib for eleven years in eastern european orphange

bundles of joy are often the product of rape as warfare and bloodline pollution, and they’ve been dropped off when Mama was sick, maimed, or couldn’t bear to raise the offspring of her torturer and rapist. But she did the right thing, she didn’t get an abortion! And now you can take Junior off her hands. Millions to choose from!

9. Maybe you don’t want to concern yourselves with miracle blessings so far away. You can act right here at home to rally for the sanctity of life. Head north to some Indian reservations, where the unemployment rates can reach fifty percent or more, where we have as much tuberculosis as the third world, and where suicide has given an average life span of about 40 to some native Canadian populations. Why not share your jobs with our first nations, grow back their forests, and express your personal zeal for life?
10. Now, of course they taught you at the redneck barbecue that all inhabitants of the planet can fit into the state of Texas. I’m not sure that’s true, but let’s just say it is, and hence, there’s no population crisis after all. Still, the garbage, pollution, and sewage from nearly seven billion, which will double before long, is a lot to handle. Because every single one of the seven billion we’ve got already is a joyous miracle of life, I know you want to be sure of the quality of the soil that will feed us, and that the supply of water will go around. That’s why you’re committing to population control. Of course you’re smarter than the propaganda that insists we’ve got the opposite problem on our hands- declining growth. Even the dim or the differently abled know that two billion in 1930 skyrocketing into nearly 7 billion today is a population exponentially exploding. In 2006, there were 76 million new special deliveries, and not enough adorable onesies to go around! So instead of concerning yourself obsessively with women who are not able to feed another mouth, reach out with contraception in countries word-wide where women would love to stop reproducing. Don’t you always wonder why the coloureds don’t stop having babies? It’s time you had a little heart to heart with the men over there who won’t take no for an answer. Where people don’t have access to contraception, you can make a difference!

11. It’s totally understandable that you want to share your enthusiasm for the miracle of life with others. So when your church wants to make a little graveyard or chart to post online with hundreds of little white crosses, maybe you can contribute in a a very special way. Get out your magic markers and scissors and make 82 cut-out angels, and then repeat 365 times. Waterproof them, and then tie them to trees in a public park, so that people can honour and remember the annual travesty of suicides right here at home in the USA. That’s right, about 82 people can’t take it anymore, every single day of the year. Be proactive! Instead of just honouring their beautiful blessing of a life, hang out around bridges and offer brochures about life’s sweet blessings to any distressed-looking passers by. Or, seriously, get on board at your youth suicide hotline and keep gay youth and pregnant teenage girls alive.
12. There are many other ways that you can put your money where your mouth is and give more than lip service to the sanctity of life. Celebrate today by feeding the hungry, advocating adoption, inviting the homeless on your street to move into your basement or spare guest room. Give street kids a place to shower and shoot up safely- always keep a stock of clean needles handy just in case. Help them get back home by calling Pops and giving him a good stern warning to keep his paws off of his bundle of joy, then send her on her way with a nice bologna sandwich. Commit to weekly babysitting for moms who are too poor to get a sitter- you’ll help Mom get a part time job and care for the baby she nobly brought into the world despite the odds.

And because contraception is not 100 per cent effective, even with your wife, and because your attention is tied up with the seven billion precious miracles on the planet, you must commit to never, ever, ever having sex unless she desperately wants a child right now. See how easy it is for everyone to pitch in?

No, I’m NOT kidding.

Amnesty International http://www.amnesty.org

Help Romanian orphans http://www.heartsacrossromania.org

http://www.feedthehungry.org

http://www.helpstopchildslavery.org

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org

Help child prostitutes at home and worldwide. http://www.ahavakids.org

Today’s Brave New World

Finally. Today is the day. Bush who? No, seriously, how could we possibly have voted him in twice? Now look at the world y’all gave us- for shame.

Let’s hope those snipers have eyes in the back of their heads, that Barack Obama lives through this day. Let’s give him half a chance to begin bringing some of the hope and change he has come to symbolize.

Some critics have lambasted Obama for his cult of personality. Excuse me? I actually think it’s high time we had some personality in the White House, a real person who cares about real people. So what if Obama shirtless is hot as hell? Must all presidents be ugly? I think it’s wise and brilliant to have a Facebook platform, to be in touch with the average American- and Canadian, because we’re all in this together.

The man is no fool, he knows he can’t please everyone. But he’s willing to try, from an honest platform. The job he has ahead is more massive than anyone before him- he’s literally got the whole world in his hands, and we expect him to save it.

I applaud any advance towards peace and stability. It won’t be magic, but as a symbol alone, Obama represents positive change in the heart of America.

Of course, in addition to the trillions in debt and the war criminal who is leaving office today, to the pollution and mass overpopulation, Obama has much hate to soften. The human heart is perpetually filled with so much venom, and it continues today. It’s hard to believe that there are still losers who think the minor ratio of homosexuals in the population will infect the rest of it with their abominations, and that murder and racism and adultery and heterosexual pornography and sex trafficking and poverty pale in comparison to the crime of two loving adults canoodling in the privacy of their own home. Not that Obama is out loud and proud in any way- he merely acknowledged that he believes progress means human rights for all people.

Always following the crime of homosexuality is the crime of being female, and blog after blog decries Obama as an antichrist babykiller for not speaking out against abortion, or ‘for life.’ Seems he made a comment about how women shouldn’t receive a lifetime punishment for a mistake. Cartoons abound with Obama in a dumpster crushing fetuses under a gavel, headlines like Obama Says Miracle of Life is a Punishment.

Do you love life? I would say that people this dumb should be shipped to that proverbial desert island where they want to send the fags. It’s not even a question of being pro choice or pro life. This is going to be a debate with opposing sides forever, like capital punishment. But if life is so effing sacred to these idiots, it’s time for them to start speaking against war, and feeding the hungry who already exist. Let’s ignore the happy homo- he’s self supporting for the most part, and not repopulating- and take our attention to the sick and dying children in Bulgaria, Ecuador, Sudan. We’re pushing seven billion and there’s not enough to go around. Population control should be an imperative of every government in the world. What happens if all today under 50 reproduce, even only once? DISASTER. We’re almost out of water as it stands. STOP HAVING CHILDREN, people. Love the kids we’ve got here already. There’s enough to go around. So, are you really Pro Life? Hmm, I didn’t think so.

Well, not much Obama can do about the low IQ of those who weren’t mercifully prevented from their farce existence. We’ve got to feed them now that they’re out there with their picket posters of botched abortions. We’re stuck with the lame cartoons and the queer jokes that haven’t frightened or offended the pink brigaders since 1987. It doesn’t matter what these nitwits think: the world is much larger than Alabama, and today America, Europe, Canada, Botswana, Australia, everywhere you turn, the world is meeting today with hope that had almost run out. We have delayed the end of the world. We have another chance.

Dirty Harry

I guess the lily livered liberals who have dragged poor Prince Harry through the muck for for uttering “Paki” and ‘raghead” have never seen South Park. Or Family Guy. And maybe that’s why they have no damn sense of humour.

Now before you all start telling me irately that racial slurs aren’t funny, I say, since when? You, too, have used the word “Paki,” on numerous occasions, guaranteed. You’ve made blonde jokes, Newfie jokes, nun jokes, fat jokes, redneck jokes, Brit jokes, Arab jokes, Bush jokes, black jokes, and queer jokes. If we can’t make fun of each other, who the hell can we make fun of?

Of course, it is within the spirit of the jest where the truth lies. Does the office wit really hate women or blacks or fags? Does Harry? Let’s not get our knickers in a knot- Harry’s cheap shots were uttered three years ago. Harry is a teenage boy. The words were not thrown around forcefully in a manner such as ‘fucking towelhead” or “low down lying Paki trash.”  The ‘slurs’ were said with some affection: and I quote, “our Paki friend,”- in the awkward way of a teenage boy trying to be funny. Harry is among other testosterone-pumped youth, joking around. Wonder what kind of pussy jokes they were swapping? Call the cops!

The Prince in Lesotho. Does he look racist to you?

Now I am not a resident of Pakistan or a person of Arabic descent. But I doubt this fleeting bumble of poor taste had much power to scar. It did a lot more to embarrass the queen than to leave permanent wounds on the people of Pakistan or Arabia. You know what might leave permanent wounds? Hmm, the guns, the bombs, those kinds of things.

Racism bothers me. But not this kind. Why  don’t I give a flying fuck if dirty Harry said ‘raghead?’ And why shouldn’t you?  Because we’re missing the obvious. The reason Harry   was there in the first place. Because of war. Because of real racism, you know, when we decided to go over to someone else’s country, uninvited, after inventing slanderous stories about these same people, and then start KILLING them. Where we blow limbs off of children in Afghanistan and Iraq. Where we sacrifice our own sons and call it honour. Where we solve disagreements and differences through our unquenchable bloodthirst. Wanna talk about racism? Yes, let’s.

How ridiculous are we, living in this foolish bubble of political correctness, while the obvious sickness of war does not even ruffle our feathers! Israel is slaughtering Palestinians like there’s no tomorrow, but we’re talking about an outdated video cam with a bunch of teenage boys joking about? What were all those boys doing over there? What were they there for? People are killing each other because they don’t like the religion, customs, or colour of one another. We’ve got Di’s boy child sent to murder people, risking his own life, and we’re worried about a foolish insensitivity? It’s time to grow the fuck up and stop hiding our heads in the sand.

Guns and bombs will break my bones but names will never hurt me!

www.thegirlcanwrite.net

Pills, Aliens, Hitler and other Crazy Stuff

I certainly don’t believe that psychiatric medication is magic but would have to conclude that anyone who refuses it to someone who needs it violates human rights. I’m more likely to question mental ‘illness’ philosophically than most people: I am not sure that medicating away your personality traits is ultimately beneficial, when we can learn so much about the human mind and heart from our differences. However, a person who is afflicted with delusions and psychosis would hardly feel that his or her ‘uniqueness’ is comfortable, when medication exists to control this; all of society benefits when violent offenders are calmed therapeutically; certainly there are times of such stark and degrading depression that pills have kept me alive. Do I not deserve to live?

I ask this again: do I not deserve to live? Perhaps I should get to the source of my malaise instead of using a Band-Aid- is that what you are thinking? Perhaps. The source of my malaise is the cruelty of the human race. It is war, torture, rape, child abuse, starvation, religious violence, and the friends and lovers I have buried. Sorry if you’re better equipped to handle the horrors of the human heart, the losses of everyday life: sometimes they eat me alive. I should be tougher, yes, but don’t deserve to die when I’m not as tough as you would like me to be.

Oh, pass my pills, my little darlings.

I cannot argue that psychiatry does not have a long history of abuse, torture, misguided science, futile paths. So does medicine. So does education. So does church. So does the army. So does international aid. Social work. Hospital care. Old folks homes. Should we do away with all of these institutions, or should we continue to work with those who need them to improve them?

It’s incredibly narrow minded of scientologists to believe a blanket ban is merited on psychiatry. Yes, pills have hurt some people. Others have been saved. It’s really an individual choice, isn’t it? And if that person is too nuts to make their own choice, should it not be up to the best intention of their doctor or family, not up to those who use words like ‘consumer survivor advocacy’ without having a clue what they’re talking about. Of course I oppose giving four year olds experimental chemicals instead of taking them off of sugar. But I have no right to oppose my good friend from taking miraculous drugs that made his born-with-it paranoia of microphones and CIA stings and hidden cameras disappear.

Many credit scientology’s stance on psychiatry as a life affirming, spiritual perspective without knowing anything at all about what scientologists believe about mental illness or mental medicine.

Scientologists believe that people who are psychotic- schizophrenia, which affects one per cent of the population, give or take- are immoral and unethical. Hubbard, the leader of this joke religion (and it is a joke, that’s not my take, but the entire intention of the ‘faith’), believed that a psychotic person was plugged into opposing forces. Alien forces. That’s right. In a galaxy very far away, alien creatures devise implants that interfere with the spiritual progress of human earthlings. Those implants are our psychiatric diseases. Now, it’s true that the brain is a mysterious thing that we still do not understand, and I suppose their guess is as good as anyone else’s…

While I also grieve over treatment experiments that went awry, I hardly think, as Hubbard did, that psychiatry exists to lobotomize political dissenters. I doubt that the rambling madmen were of much threat to established regimes. Oh, yeah, and the shrinks are all working on behalf of Russia.

Scientologist marchers hold banners that read Psychiatry Kills. It’s an imperfect science, just like the rest of our endeavours. But the lack of mental health help also kills. Maybe my uncle wouldn’t have jumped in front of a train if there had been good care available to him. Maybe if my girlfriend had gone for help like the rest of our depressed circle, she would not have hung herself in her closet last Thanksgiving. Maybe. There’s no way to be sure.

What we can be sure of is that behind the seemingly good intentions of scientologists- who speak in defense of those who may not be able to speak for themselves- are a bunch of beliefs that actually are, well, insane. Aliens did not program my manic depressive traits. And I’ll decide for myself when and if to medicate. I personally don’t like to numb my creativity if I don’t have to. I also personally think that medication allows a person to be more creative, to live better, in greater balance- or do you think Britney Spears just decided to ‘snap out of it’ after her public meltdown? It doesn’t matter: it’s up to her, it’s up to me, it’s up to Brooke. Maybe before Tom Cruise opens his yap again about his aliens who program postpartum depression in unruly women, he can first be subjected to hormonal injections of pregnancy and birth. We’ll see how he feels and go from there.

These nutcase space freaks also believe psychiatry is mind control. Well, yes. The whole idea is trying to reign in the errant mind, to control it. That’s the whole idea. Now, the question, of course, is whose control? For myself, I’d like it to be me. But there’s the danger of giving up control of your mind to your doctor, sure. Still, this is kind of funny coming from a faith that is all about mind control. Scientology aims to brainwash people. Then they have cleansings, like Operation Snow White, where they remove all negative documentation and proof left behind by dissenters.

Scientologists claim that psychiatry is a purely profit driven industry. Doubtless this is the case in many circumstances- pill production, absolutely. But Scientology itself is a profit driven industry. The whole goal was for a sci-fi writer to create a joke religion and become rich by it. We don’t even know for sure if he believed his sci-fi rhetoric, or if he is laughing at his followers from that galaxy in the ground.

Those evil alien mind controllers also caused Hitler’s psychosis, and so these ever-educated scientologists blame the Holocaust on psychiatry. Hitler suffered from engram, the desire to conquer the world, which was a result of his desire for havingness. He was unable to achieve havingness, and so he took it by force. The engram that still surrounds Germany can only be removed by scientology.

Well, we can blame it on psychiatry if we want. But I’d rather blame it on methamphetamine, to which the dour old megalomaniac was addicted. It was perfectly legal at the time, and perfectly abundant, and everyone knows how meth makes you paranoid, crazy, grandiose, and suicidal. But of course, very few meth addicts can achieve what Hitler did, so it must be the aliens.

Now I’m fully aware that shock treatment can a shady history, but no one’s ever forced it on my mother or me. It’s never even been suggested or recommended. It did not kill my uncle- could it have saved him? There’s no way in hell I’ll ever try it. That’s my choice. Exactly. My therapists and doctors have only ever acted on my behalf. I’ve driven the course of my treatments since childhood, even though I’m the crazy one. And I’ll continue to do so. I suspect I’ve made the wrong choices- I spent way too many years shunning medication and watching everything in my life fall apart. Could lithium have saved me from my impetuous personality, from the consequences of my impulses? Don’t know. I’ve never taken lithium, and I probably never will. But I have nothing against the tremendous benefits I’ve seen it effect for others. My husband tried every narcotic this planet has known, and he said that lithium was the only time in his life that he felt what it was to be normal. Too bad he took methamphetamine instead, and died. Perhaps lithium treatment could have saved him.

Perhaps if Hitler had been forced into care at the first signs of psychosis, and received anticonvulsives or antipsychotics, what then? Could good old-fashioned Valium have saved us this human blight of history? We will never know.